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.MY HEART ACHES FOR THINGS THAT ARE BEYOND MY CONTROL.

My Hearts Desire

.LOVE.

"Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever...”

.PASSION.

.MY HEARTS DESIRE.

I love words. Strung together, however the matter, and it becomes poetry. Write a melody to go with that poetry and magic is made. Music. Emotion that cannot be simply spoken, can blossom before you with music. I could listen to poetry or music for hours on end, feeling it deep inside my chest. My mind whirling with images. When I write screen plays, music becomes my muse. I write every scene, every look, every move of the actors to music. Today I find myself once again inspired by words, music, pictures. Its all so powerful to me. Despite my current situation, I am content. Happy. I feel that the future holds many great opportunities for me. New doors are opening up and my heart is ready to receive whatever awaits me. I have no wrong or right answers to anything right now. What I do know is that i will live, love and be loved, explore, venture out, create, be, reach out and touch somebody, sing, smile, kiss softly, mean what I say, breath in the moments, clear my mind, open my eyes, cry, stand on tip toes, stretch, read poetry, write poetry, imagine, tell, be brave, and find peace. 

Go. 

.MAGIC.

.SOUL.

"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)"

E. E. Cummings

.LIFE, BREATH, BLOOD, SPIRIT.

The Truth: Now and Forever

                                                           

                                                           

12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

                               2. Frequent attacks of smiling  

3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.

4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.  

5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience 

6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.  

7. A loss of ability to worry. 

8. A loss of interest in conflict.

9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others   

10. A loss of interest in judging others  

11. A loss of interest in judging self 

12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

This year in cell phone pictures

Snowpocalypse

New me, new haircut

New tattoo, no shoe 

Reconnecting with sweet friends

Healing necklace from Mom & Dad

Beauty in Sadness

I haven't blogged in a long while-and for good reason. I have nothing to say. No. I don't know what to say. 2012 has not been kind thus far. I do however feel that this noose around my neck, ever tightening, this squeezing and tugging at my middle, will somehow save me again. Like my mom always used to say when we were cleaning our rooms; " It has to get messy before it gets clean!" She was right. We'd pull out everything and move it to the middle of the room, going from box to box, sorting out things we needed and things we didn't. I am doing that now. Sorting. I have a lot to do and its going to get real messy. I may throw everything out and start over. Build it up again from the ground up. Time will tell. The snow is coming down now. Softly and quiet like owls flying thru the forest. I've never experienced anything so quiet-as if sound never existed. The snow is beautiful and cold. Peaceful. I wish i could lay down in a drift of snow, naked, and sink into a numbing dream. Peaceful.

I watched Melancholia the other day. It is beauty, emotion, raw, and perfectly haunting. I felt every tear, every bit of anger, love and fear right along with the characters. I was experiencing it. When it ended I felt awful. I mean that in the best way possible, if that even makes sense. I wish I could have made this film. I sympathized with the character Justine the most. She battles with manic depressive disorder thru-out the film. Her sister is her caretaker and in the end Justine ends up caring for her sister. Every frame of this film was like a photograph. I absolutely loved it. There is beauty in sadness. This film is a perfect example of that.