Mother

Far away i hear a sound
Simple, tingling
Or is it a voice?
The air rushes by my face
Again I hear it
No
I felt it this time
Tasted it
Its acidic imprint left on my tongue
I wish i could tell you what it was
What it felt like
How it feels
How it hurts
A gentle tap at the center of my chest
Grows stronger
Harder
Until the pain goes away 
And i am numb there
At the center
You can see the red mark it left
Blood rising to heal the ache
Warm and blistering
I cant feel it
That noise...
A whisper
It tells me all the things i never want to hear
All the things i never want to think about
Losing everything
My baby
"Get out!" I yell 
But only to myself
I realize foolishly
The mind is a tangled place
Electric and twisted in nature
One wrong turn and...
"You are nothing"
I try to breathe and cant
I search frantically for oxygen
Relief
None.
"You are broken"
It tears at my skin like knives
I bleed
At least now i know I'm alive
"Not good enough"
The air hits me like a hail storm
Sharp, stinging
There they are
Those red spots again
My body tries to repair itself  
Blood rushes to the surface
"Going nowhere"
My back is aching
Bricks built upon me one by one
Weighing me down
Cant move
My cheek is pressed against the cold damp pavement now
I can taste the rain, and oil, and dirt
I'm not in pain anymore
I'd do anything to feel it now...
Just to know that i could
Ive grown used to it
I hear a sound
Closer now
No, its a voice
Not my own
"Get up"
Hard as I try, my body is broken. 
"Grab my hand"
The bricks are too heavy
"I love you"
I felt that
A tapping at the center
Growing stronger now
It leaves a spot
Warm and red
A reminder
I am alive
I can feel
I am loved.
One by one the bricks are removed
tossed to the side 
each one chipped and broken
I stand up
Unsteady
Its not easy
It never will be
Not for me.